i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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