Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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