I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
