Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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