oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize