I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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