I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
