I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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