I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
