Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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