It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
