Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
