So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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