you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
