I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
