I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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