hotel room ftw
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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