I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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