If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
