I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize