the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
