so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't want my vagina anymore.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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