dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
