You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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