Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
