god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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