I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When are your genitals available?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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