i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
