Dual....:-)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
