break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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