I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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