her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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