i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
