I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you win again, gameday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
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I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize