You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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