I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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