I must be too annoying 4 u.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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