There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize