I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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