I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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