I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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