Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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