Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
