I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
