Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
