I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
