my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
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