Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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