Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
