god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
