Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize