My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
