So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
