I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
