I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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