He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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