I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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