Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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