And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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