Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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