wat bout pragnant strippers??
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
