is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
