Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
